ASSIGNMENT #12 SATIRE

Satire is everywhere in our society: Family Guy, The Simpsons, The Rick Mercer Report, Saturday Night Life. Using humor and sarcasm is an entertaining way to criticize some aspect of our society. You may want to consider a satirical approach to the original composition section of the provincial exam. It's an opportunity to showcase your creativity and wit.

Your task for this blog is to write a detailed paragraph that is critical of some aspect of Princess Margaret Secondary. One of the challenges is to pick a topic that has some importance. It could be a criticism of the culture of our school, or of the education system more generally.

Another challenge of this assignment is to use heavy sarcasm - but not come across as whinny. If your focus is that classes start too early in the morning (8:40am), you may come across as a complaining adolescent rather than an intelligent young adult with an insightful observation about education.
Don't forget to put some thought into your title!

ASSIGNMENT # 11 Song or POEM

Your task is to write a paragraph that justifies a song as a good example of poetry. Choose a song in which you are able to identify 6 poetic devices. Don't bother with rhyme or stanza - that goes without saying.


Similie, metaphor, personification, hyperbole, allusion, symbolism, alliteration, understatement, onomatopoiea, apostophe, paradox, oxymoron, irony, connotation, imagery through effective diction, figurative language, mood, theme...


These are all examples of techniques used by poets - and song writers are poets.


Make sure that you copy and paste the lyrics of the song as part of your blog since I may not be familiar with the song. Include the title and songwriter in your introduction. Provide a direct reference worked into your own sentence for each of the examples you discuss. A good writer always strives for a creative intoduction and conclusion

ASSIGNMENT # 10 Letter of Concern

LETTER WRITING GRADE 12


There is a strong likelihood that in your life you will want to express a concern to someone through the medium of a letter or e-mail. In order to present your ideas effectively, your diction and tone is extremely important. You want to make certain that your target audience will consider your ideas. If the tone of your correspondence is overly aggressive, sarcastic or not specific, your letter may be ineffectual.

Consider the following strategies:

• Introduce yourself.
• Summarize the situation of concern.
• Consider pointing out that you are aware of the other person’s point of view and the difficulties that person may be dealing with.

*STATE YOUR CONCERNS IN THE AFFIRMATIVE NOT THE NEGATIVE-in other words, emphasize the behavior you want rather than the behavior you do not want.
• Avoid language that will make the reader angry.
• Avoid referring to second hand accounts.
• Offer solutions.
• Request some sort of response


Assignment

You have attended a number of your son or daughter’s athletic team practices and games and you have noted the following behaviors from the coach, Mr. Kleats. Write a letter that expresses your concerns and what you would like done. You may make up details to provide examples. Address the letter to Mr. Kleats @ Central High School 123 Main Street, Sportstown, British Columbia, V2A 1W3.

• The coach often arrives late
• Practices are disorganized
• Some team members receive very little playing time
• The coach often yells at players
• Too much emphasis is placed on winning

USE PROPER FORMAL BUSINESS LETTER FORMAT

123 Main Street

Penticton, British Columbia,

V2A 3W1

May 16, 2011

R. Van Camp

English Teacher

120 Geen Avenue,

Penticton, British Columbia

V2A 3W1

Dear Mr. Van Camp:

Paragraph 1

Paragraph 2

Sincerely,

Signature

Your name typed

ASSIGNMENT # 9 A Moral Dilemma

Gunter Grass is a 92 year old man who lives in your village of 1000 people.

His wife died six years ago, but he has three children and many grandchildren. He is as healthy as one could expect a 92 year old man to be.

From 1962 to 1998 he served as mayor of the village. He would no doubt have been re-elected, but he chose to retire due to his age.

He has been a model citizen and has built a profitable factory where many people in the village enjoy working. Employees are well paid.

Over the years he has donated very large sums of money to various charities. As well there are a number of families who, for various reasons, are unable to make ends meet. Each month, Mr. Grass makes sure they have enough money to cover their expenses. These families would surely become destitute without his aid.


The current mayor has come across irrefutable evidence that, from 1939- 1945, Gunter Grass was the commandant of a Nazi concentration camp in Poland. He directly oversaw the deaths of an estimated 15,000 people. The mayor is asking your advice.


Write a letter to the mayor in which you outline in detail four or five reasons for your decision to expose Grass' secret or your decision to get rid of the evidence. You should discuss the impact of your decision on Gunter, on the village, on the victims of the concentration camp and on society.

ASSIGNMENT # 8 Writing with dialogue

Sunday, October 10, 2010
ASSIGNMENT # 8 Writing with Dialogue





In this blog assignment you will practice writing dialogue, conversation. It's important to be aware of a few basic rules. Whenever you have a new speaker, make sure you indent 5 spaces. There are 4 ways to introduce dialogue. Indicating who is speaking can be done at the beginning, the end or the middle of the dialogue.

1. Mr. Van Camp exclaimed, "Writing dialogue is fun!"

2. "Writing dialogue is fun," stated Mr. Van Camp

3. "Writing dialogue," remarked Mr. Van Camp, "is fun."

4. "Writing dialogue is fun."



Note that sometimes, as in example 4, you do not need to indicate who said something because you have shown that it is the other speaker by indenting.


Write a dialogue based on a conversation that you might imagine the people in the above pictures might have. The dialogue should be interactive rather than just a long story on the part of one of the characters.

Use each of the above methods at least twice. Take note that I have NOT used the word "said" in my example. I want you to choose words that more precisely convey the manner in which each character is speaking. Make certain that your punctuation is precise, but not only will you be marked on punctuation, I also want you to develop the two characters. Through their dialogue, I want you to convey their personalities.

Assignment #7 Bad poetry

What makes a bad poem?

1. Too much rhyme
2. Inconsistent rhyme
3. Cliches
4. Wandering off topic
5. Too abstract
6. Analogies that are too detailed
7. Analogies that compare things that have nothing in common
8. Anlogies that compare things that aer the same
9. Bad diction

Write a poem that includes examples of each of the above criteria. Hopefully by looking at what makes a bad poem, you will gain some understanding of what makes a good poem.

Student example:

Rivers

Rivers are magical, they are peacful and shiny
Sometimes big and sometimes tiny - never whiney.
You can sit on a boat
And float
With the stream and it never stops
Like you were sitting in a car and the brakes are broken
Except that eventually the car will stop
Because you hit a tree or a house or the road starts going up and gravity kicks in.
But a river goes on and on.

I like to stare into the water, stare
With that kind of glare
That one uses to look at a guy on the bus
Who is picking his nose and he thinks that no one is looking.
That's disgusting though
And a river isn't.
A river is nice and calm or loud and wild
Like a lazy child.

The awesome thing about a river is
That they don't care if you try to stop them.
They don't stop - just like a little kid. If you tell him not to put his finger in An electrical socket, he's still gonna do it.

That's why I like rivers. They are blue, like a crayon that's blue or a can of paint That's blue.
So I hope you like them too.

Assignment #7 55 word Short Story

Google "55 word short stories". You'll find many web-sites as it's a popular genre. Notice how most of the stories focus on one element of fiction : irony, theme, character development, etc.

Write two short stories with exactly 55 words (excluding the title).

Use the websites for inspiration, not plagiarism!

Student Example:

Ecstasy

He was flying. Soaring above the clouds, his whole body was so light and tingling with ecstasy. He loved it! He went faster and faster around clouds and over clouds. He didn't care as long as he felt like this forever. He was ecstatic! Eyes full of stars, he failed to see the red light at the intersection. The people came and cleaned up the mess. The coroner wrote under cause of death: ecstasy.

Assignment #6 Exemplary College Application

Write a college application essay that emulates the one below. Focus on the following criteria:

1. Include examples of parallel structure.
2. Vary your sentence length. Include some very short sentences for effect.
3. Juxtapose bizzare ideas with mundane ideas.



An Exemplary College Application Essay _________________________________________________________________

3A. ESSAY:
IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU,
THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:
ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

_________________________________________________________________

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I
have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making
them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic
slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time
efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty
Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran
in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious
army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the
subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large
suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On
Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of
charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening
wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan
mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last
summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force
demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me
fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly
accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield
in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that
evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the
supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep
once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in
Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had
seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it
down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli
and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights
in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees
at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart
surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.


_________________________________________________________________

[From Harper's "This essay, by Hugh Gallagher, won first prize in the
humor category of the 1990 Scholastic Writing Awards. It appeared in
the May issue of Literary_Calvalcade, a magazine of contemporary
fiction and student writing published by Scholastic in NYC. Gallagher,
who is 18, grew up in Newtown Square, PA, and will attend NYU this
fall."]

Assignment #5 Novel Response

1. Writing in response to reading without a goal of deeper understanding is a waste of time (yours and mine)
2. Your goals are to:a) personalize the story (make it more meaningful for you) b) gain insights about characters c) see the world in a different way
3. The main point of journal writing is to clarify your thoughts by committing your thinking to paper. Please choose a quote or a passage from your novel (include page number) and explain the connection you have made to it. How does the connection you have made help you understand more about the book?



Student example:

Slumdog Millionaire

"'Why did you throw away your lucky coin?' 'I don't need it anymore because luck comes from within.'" pg. 302, Slumdog Millionaire

Many people believe that luck is a supernatural force waiting for the right time to strike. However, is it possible to make your own luck? The main character in the novel "Slumdog Millionaire" proves that good fortune comes from within. Ram Mohammad Thomas begins as a young boy struck by poverty and unfortunate events. However, he knows that he has the power to make his situation positive.

This quote demonstrates what we lack in reality. So many people wait for luck to find them, and waste time hoping that it will strike. What people don't realize is that luck can be made. By following your intuition and doing the right things, you can create good fortune. I believe in following dreams. If you know the path you need to take in order to achieve a desired outcome, then follow it to great extents until it is yours. Depending on luck to take you to places is a mistake so many people make due to fear and uncertainty. But the reality is that you will never know until you reach the end. For me personally, I know the path I want to take in my life and will do everything I can until I see myself in that position. Ram, the main character in Slumdog Millionaire, also has a dream. His dream is to reach a better life. He does this by helping others even when he is in a traumatic situation himself. Ram never loses sight of happiness, and in the end is rewarded with love and fortune.

Luck can be made, you just have to find the strength to create it.

Assignment #4 Satire

Satire can be an effective way to criticize something or someone. The use of humor and sarcasm engages the audience as the writer makes a point.

Rex Murphy's article "Cellphones" on page 403 of Echoes is a good example.

Your task is to write a three to five paragraph article that uses satire to convey your opinion on a pet peeve you have. The tricky aspect of writing good satire is to make it humorous without coming across as being a whiner or immature. Good luck

Student example:

Driving is essential

Perhaps you want to go to the store, or the park, or even down the road to pick up a stick of butter or a sewing machine from a neighbor. Would you
a) lace up your trainers and jog over.
b) slip on loafers and clamber into the family vehicle.
c) jump into some riding boots and saddle up to your trusted pet emu whom you can ride around town.
As unfortunate as it might seem, you'll probably answer b). The emphasis on driving in this day and age is fantastic. For every little errand or jaunt around the town, people are expected to leap into a vehicle and drive off down the snaking pavement to a location of their choosing.
And with good reason! We couldn't actually walk everywhere, could we?! With the modern convenience of the fossil-fuel burning engines, what does a little air pollution really matter to us anyways?

Driving was once a luxury that only the rich could indulge in, but now if you don't have a car you are generally referred to as a tree-hugger, hippie, or just down right poor. Who wouldn't want to be the hot-shot behind the wheel of the latest Ford F150, belching blacked exhaust into the already weakened Ozone layer? Don't worry...it's only one more car. What harm could you possibly be doing on your own, anyways. If one person takes initiative to stop driving, then perhaps others would follow, but that first person certainly isn't got to be you. Oh no! you'd sooner saw off your arm than give up the leech on your paychecks. It's a social symbol you will want to get in on if you haven't already purchased your own automobile. It doesn't matter if your 17 years old, and barely able to make your insurance and gas payments, as long as you have that car...

Cars were invented in order to make everyone's lives easier, a task which they certainly have accomplished quite well. All things considering though, the distances between the vital stores and buildings in the average North American's lives have shrunk considerably over time, as cities began to pack more and more into every street. So maybe that grocery store your ancestors had to visit 10 km into town to pick up everything they'd need for the next month has moved a block from your apartment. That's no reason for you to actually have to walk to it! That's what your shiny new BMW is for. Who knows, you might even be able to accelerate above 40 km/h this time...after all hasn't the light just gone green? Your legs will get a bit of exercise in the shop anyways walking up and down all those aisles. It could practically be called a workout!

Clearly a vehicle is an essential part of the North American lifestyle, something we just couldn't live without. Sure we could opt out of short drives and take a healthier route (for both ourselves and the environment), but what if it was raining?

Assignment #3 Cliches

A good writer strives to be original. Too often papers that I evaluate are filled with cliches, overused expressions. Usually, students don't realize that they are even using cliches. So this writing exercise is designed to not only make you aware of what a cliche is, but to allow you to purge them from your system forever. Choose one of the following scenarios and use at least 12 cliches in your paragraph. Italicize each cliche or change the color so that it's easy for me to see how many you have used.

Example:

It was the day of the big game. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. There were two out and the bases were loaded. Sweat dripped into my eyes as I stepped to the plate. My stomach had butterflies. It was do or die. Our backs were against the wall. I remembered the coach saying there is no "I" in team. I decided to give 110%, to leave it all out on the field. The first pitch came in faster than a speeding bullet...

You get the idea.

Love at first sight.
A lecture from a parent.
Entering a haunted house.
A daring rescue.
A showdown at the OK corral


Student Example:


Love Conquers All

Love is blind, or so they say. I know differently.
The day she smiled at me was the best day of my life. She was an earth angel, and hot as hell. She took my breath away. I was in love at first sight. As she sashayed towards me, I realized what everyone was talking about when they said love conquers all. She was as graceful and as free as a bird. When she got close enough to hear me speak I seductively whispered "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" She knew she was the apple of my eye and I was walking on cloud nine. She had cold hands, and a warm heart. She smelled fresh as a daisy and her voice was sweet as honey. She was a feast for sore eyes, and I instantly knew that all things grew with love. When I was with her it was the time of my life. Her love was pure.

When she left, my world fell apart.

She left at the crack of dawn, left me standing alone, crying buckets. Her words still whispered in my ears, "You only hurt the ones you love." I guess I just have to come to terms with the fact that if you love something, you must set it free. It was an amazing night, and I feel lucky to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all. Every rose has its thorn, and I guess i just discovered hers early in the game. She taught me to stop and smell the roses, and that lifes not that bad. She taught me to love even though I do not know her name.
I know that we will meet again, because there is always next year. And like I said,

Love conquers all

Assignment #2 Inside the Dangerously Empty lives of Teenage Girls

INSIDE THE DANGEROUSLY EMPTY LIVES OF TEENAGE GIRLS.


The May 10'th edition of Canada's most popular weekly news magazine, Macleans, contains an article about teenage girls. Dr. Leonard Sax offers some opinions about teenage girls and boys. Your assignment is to write an article agreeing or disagreeing with his main ideas.


Your article should follow this format.


Paragraph one: catchy introduction, background on the individual being interviewed, and a summary of his three main points.


Paragraphs two, three and four: agree or disagree with each point.


Paragraph 5: concluding thoughts.


Make sure that when you refer to Sax's ideas, you provide DIRECT references.

Student example:


We Are Definetly Not Princesses Anymore, and This Ain't a Fairy Tail


Self mutilation, binge drinking, under age sexual intercourse, all of these habits have bad connotations, but did you know many teenage females in today’s society are participating in one or more of these things? In the May 10th edition of MacLean’s, Dr.Leomard Sax, a family physician, wrote an article called “Inside the Dangerously Empty Lives of Teenage Girls”. In this article, he describes the average lives and problems of teenage girls, and why. His two main points were that girls are feeling more anxiety over everything which leads to destructive and harmful habits, which parents need to pay more attention to what their teenage girls and that the times have changed and brought with them many new social cues and habits, and that parents and teenagers need to learn to adjust to them.

Sax’s first main point he stresses in his article is that girls are feeling much more anxiety which in today’s society, is absolutely true. According to the article they found out “that the average teenage girl today is more anxious than the average girl admitted to a psychiatric unit for in-patient treatment 50 years ago.” This anxiety is coming from many different things including stress from school, their social life, their looks, their habits, and their home life. Because of this anxiety that teenage girls are feeling, many of them are resorting to destructive habits and practices. “More than one in five girls” are cutting themselves in today’s society. To make themselves prettier, they obsess over food, dieting, clothing, and they even “spend […] time photoshopping their pictures.” To become more popular “they are cornering [boys] and giving them blow jobs”. To try and forget all their problems, they are drinking more and more, which is “more toxic for females”. This article clearly and accurately points out and describes what one of the main problems with teenage girls is in today’s society, anxiety.

Another point Sax makes is that parents need to pay attention more to their teenagers’ lives. In today’s society, parents try give their children as much “autonomy and independence” as possible, but they are still children and very new to this world. Our society is not like the 80’s. “In the ‘70s and ‘80s, sex was about intimacy” but sex is viewed very differently today. It is looked at as a “commodity that girls provide to boys.” Also, men you to look for women with meat on their bones because they would be preferable for raising children and that were considered attractive. Nowadays, skinny is pretty, and girls are doing anything to become this new image of beauty. If parents don’t “set limits” and pay attention to their children, then most teenage girls will keep on this harmful paths. They are young and many do not know restraint yet. He suggests to “monitoring […] what your daughter’s doing online.” Also, take away their cell phones at night. Many girls will get the most upsetting and anxiety striking texts in the middle of the night because it is the time when most people party. If parents don’t pay attention to their children, they could very well end up like Phoebe Prince “the girls in Massachusetts who recently committed suicide due to cyberbulling.” But this is not true for all teenage girls. Many do know restraint, and do not need all of these limits. Parent’s need to get to know their children, and when and if they do, they will be able to decide if they need to be watched more or not.

Girls may be doing better in “motivation and academic achievement” but when it comes to down to it, girls are failing in many of the essential skills need to prosper and grow. Dr.Leonard Sax gives substantial proof to this in his May 10th MacLean’s article “Inside the Dangerously Empty Lives of Teenage Girls”. He explains how the increase in anxiety in girls is leading to many of the harmful habits they have, and how times have changed and that parents need to pay more attention to what their teenagers are doing. Girls are not princesses anymore, and real life isn't a fairytale, and people need to understand that and do something about it.

Assignment #1 Super powers

Superpower
If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be, and why? Justify why you have chosen your particular gift, and rejected all others.

This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not.

High level responses will use formal language and proper grammar and punctuation. Make sure you include plenty of detail - this should be a lengthy paragraph.

Most importantly, keep it out of my "Boring Bin." Either dazzle me with your description, entertain me with your humor and creativity, or impress me with profound, thought provoking, and mature ideas.

Top marks will be awarded for those who are able to accomplish all of the above.

Student Example:

I HAVE THE POWER

The diffrence between me and the rest of the world is I do not wish for a superpower. I have one. My power is quite simply to steal other peoples super powers. Sadly the flaw to this amazing gift is no one in the world besides myself has any power. In fact I am the most powerful being in the univesre, yet the oppurtunity to show my power has never revealed itself. I never chose this power it was simply bestowed upon me at my birth, The god Loki thought it would be his greatest prank ever to create the most powerful being ever but render him useless, among nromal citizens of earth. If given a choice I would not switch powers for if ever a being with true powers reveals himself I would clearly have the advantage and thus give me the victory. The reason I would choose not to switch is quite simple, no matter how powerful my foe may be I would obtain his power and render him powerless. Having his power, I would now be the victor. Sadly, I am cursed to wander the earth until my rival reavels himself. Until that day I shall remain the most powerful powerless being to ever exist.